Reflections of a Nothing: The HalfLife
by Faermage-KH Junkie
Summary: There is a city that lies in darkness, a sprawling metropolis overlooked by a looming castle. The Organization lives there, and now Xarika does, too. The nobody with half a heart. The girl without a home. The one who will save us all. OCxOC. T to be safe
1. Xarika

A/N: Hi everyone. You know the drill, I don't own KH or any worlds that appear in it. I do not even pretend to own them. I own my characters, but I'll only pound on you if they're a direct rip-off. If someone comes up with a 'good' org member, fine, but if someone comes up with a 'good' org member who wheres a white-lined cloak, has blue eyes, brown hair, used to be in a band, and was named Xarika, that's different. If I DID own KH, Riku would have a MUCH better reputation.

Reflections of a Nothing

The figure was tall for her apparent age, an imposing silhouette as she looked over the dark city that was her new home, the black cloak she wore emphasizing her lithe figure. THe hood of her robe was back, the sequins sewn around the cuffs of it's long sleeves sparkling in the light of the ever-present moon. Tonight's moon was strangely shaped, and she had been surprised the first time she had come here that it had not faded. It was in the shape of a heart, hollowed out and glowing faintly, purple mixed with the normal white of a moon. Her brown hair covered one brilliant blue eye, but the other was oddly determined. Though at first it would seem devoid of emotion, pain and darkness would show to any who cared to look deep enough to find it as she reflected on the events leading up to the time she had arrived here and joined the others.

Not that anyone cared that much.

"Thinking heavy thoughts, Xarika?" asked a tall man from behind her. His wild hair was bright red, his eyes an unnerving blue-green. She turned, slightly startled, then relaxed. "Oh, it's just you, Axel. What is it?"

"Marluxia is up to something," he replied, and she sighed.

"Your point is, Axel?"

"Given your… um… position, I thought you'd like to know. It's big, this time." Marluxia, a devious man who also happened to be the castle caretaker, was always up to something. "I think he's planning to take the Org again." Organization XIII. Her new family. "Thanks, Number Eight. I'll keep that in mind when I deliver my report." Axel nodded.

"Good luck, Number Thirteen," he said, and left the chamber. She would have smiled, had she been capable of meaning it. Axel was her only real ally here. The others mocked her for her inability to pretend to the emotions she had once treasured, and yet inside they were jealous, for the strange situation of her birth had left her with some emotion, darker ones like pain and hatred, where they had not any. For they were Nobodies, beings of nothingness, with no hearts and no existence. Most of them still had their memories, and Xarika was no exception. She flinched inwardly as she thought that, thought of her friends and enemies, of her joy and pain, of her previous life.

Oh, yes, she still remembered the pain as her heart had been torn from her chest, remembered the person she had once been, the life she had once had. Every morning she woke up in an unfamiliar room, every morning felt for the heartbeat that wasn't there. Each day she remembered anew that she was no longer the happy, bright Someone she had once been, and every night she did her best to forget.


	2. A Song For Twilight

A/N: Hello everyone! FINALLY another Xarika update. As she is one of my favorite characters, I'm glad inspiration has finally struck me again. Hopefully there'll be a lot more of her in the future. Anyway, please R&R! Predictions, plot suggestions, and comments/criticism are all very welcome. Flames will be used to roast marshmallows.

* * *

The Nobody named Xarika awoke the next "morning" and put on the cloak she had taken off last night. She sighed as she got ready for that day's meeting. She never liked meetings, where the Superior got them all together to talk about the work they would do that day, who would do it, and the advancement of the Goal. Although it was vital that she attend, given the 'position' Axel had mentioned last night, she was never welcomed. The Superior treated her too well, they thought. Playing favorites, they whispered behind her back. As if she couldn't't hear them. The Superior did favor her, she knew, for the same reason they despised her: her half-heart. The Superior was obsessed with anger and rage, all the darkness she could feel. There was one reason for this, and she knew it well.

They were all he remembered.

Most Nobodies remember everything about their past lives, but the Superior knew no emotions but anger and hate, and bitterness at the world. It had to do with his creation, his birth. Willingly sacrificing his heart, Xehanort, Xemnas's Somebody, had split into a self-aware Heartless, and Xemnas, the Nobody that now led the Organization.

The meeting went on around her as she watched from almost afar, her hood back as she sat on her chair, observing all that went on. Marluxia stayed silent the entire time, seemingly bored, but she noticed his sharp gaze flicker around the room. _So,_ she thought. _He's watching._ Axel raised a question about training, as well as the battles that needed to be fought.

Axel. He was an interesting puzzle. Although her only ally here, she was not sure she could quite trust him. After choosing of his own accord to finally return from the void where Nobodies go after dying, he had chosen to ally with her for reasons of his own. She remembered someone asking her a question, once, back when she was a Somebody and Kingdom Hearts was just the name of a game that she and her brother played. "Whose side is Axel on, anyway?" The answer was, and had always been, "His own." She smiled at that, then spoke up. "We should focus more on defense of the Castle That Never Was," she said. "It's too vulnerable to intruders. Should anyone decide to storm the Castle, there are a number of weak points where the guard is lapse. Either there are no guards posted, or the force is not strong enough. I can think of at least three. Also, the castle is vulnerable to attack from the inside. Should someone manage to bring in an intruder that intruder could attack at any time and we would be nearly defenseless." Marluxia's eyes swiveled swiftly to rest on her. _He's suspicious._ She smiled. _Maybe Axel was right, this time. Interesting._

"There has never been an attack from inside the Castle," he said. "The power-play that went on in the Castle Oblivion notwithstanding, the only traitor ever in the Castle was this girl's predecessor, the errant Roxas." The last word he spat, as if it left an unpleasant taste on his tongue. She smiled.

"What happened in Oblivion could easily happen again," she said, pointedly not looking at the Graceful Assassin. Not looking at her, she noticed, were the Silent Schemer and the Savage Nymph, Zexion and Larxene, respectively. Trying not to smirk, Vexen, the Chilly Academic, nodded. She glared at his unhooded face, reminding him with her eyes that they had both been fighting for control. It takes two to wage war.

"What does she know of this?" recovered Marluxia smoothly. "After all, she hadn't been Born when the Oblivion Incident occurred."

"You forget who I used to be," she replied, bringing them around to the point of this discussion. "I know a lot more about the Incident than _you_ care to remember." She hated forcing the knowledge of who and what she was on them, but they needed to keep in mind that she was only Number 13 because of the day she joined, not because of her level of power. She felt Larxene's glare, but didn't bother to acknowledge her. That was an old argument, one she didn't need to get into at that moment.

Demyx, the Melodious Nocturne, said, "Okay, I know we have to be serious, so let's get this over with already. Let's step up defense around the castle. I can send some of my water clones to guard the Basement entrance, and we can have some of Marluxia's Assassins reinforce the most likely points of attack." Marluxia nodded his permission, and Demyx continued. "I'll also have Dancer patrols throughout the Castle, making sure that if someone does get in, they won't last long."

A blue-haired individual, Saix, the Luna Diviner, spoke up. "My Berserkers will assist both the gate patrols and the guards themselves. Xarika, if you could have your Samurai assist with the guard of the most vulnerable entrances?"

"Of course," she replied. "There is always a threat to the Castle, and I would be honored to help protect it. It would be a crime for something to happen like what happened three years ago."

"Is there any other business to attend to?" asked the Superior. In turn, we all said that there wasn't. "Good. I conclude this meeting today as successful."

In unison, they stood, and said, "In the Superior's name, we conclude the Meeting. For Kingdom Hearts!"

Afterwards, they went their separate ways.

"Interesting meeting," she said to the presence she knew was following. Axel nodded.

"You get what I mean about Marluxia?" he said, and she nodded. He started to grin. "I loved that bit about 'an attack from the inside!" he said, bending over in laughter. "Did yo see their faces? I could've busted up!" Xarika tried to fake a smile, but she had never been as good at faking emotion as the others.

"Still, we have to keep a watchful eye," she replied calmly. "Marluxia could be wishing to get revenge. You were in his fold, but he has never forgotten that little double-cross of yours."

"Yeah."

"Anyway, I'll be in Destiny's Call for a while if you need me," she said, then opened a portal and warped through.

Her room looked out over the beautiful nighttime skyline of the World That Never Was, and had an open space attached to it called Destiny's Call, but it always felt empty to her. After a while of pacing and watering the small garden she kept, she took off her robe to reveal the normal clothes she wore. After pulling off the hot Organization-issue gloves she wore as well, she slipped on a pair of fingerless gloves. One was emblazoned with the kanji for fire, the other with the one for water. They used to be Lea's, she remembered. She had given them to Xarika for good luck.

_No, _thought the nobody. _Lea gave them to _Kaira _for good luck._

Her shirt was a black tank top, the silver kanji on it reading 'nami,' or wave. Her pants were faded jeans, tucked into the Organization boots she always wore. Around her neck were a black choker and a shell necklace, remnants of a long-past joke that had become a signature of her individuality. Maybe if she hadn't been wearing them that night… But no. That wasn't her fault.

_Yes it was,_ said the little nagging voice that plagued every waking moment of her non-existence. _If you hadn't been there, none of this would have happened. Your friends wouldn't have been hurt. If you hadn't called out and challenged them…_

_Stop it!_ she cried in her mind. Tears running down her face, she opened a portal and escaped into it.

* * *

The other side was a great relief, a familiar setting, now. The light of the sun shone on the town, not much bigger or smaller than her own original home. She had appeared in an alley, so the locals wouldn't suspect her of being one of the Organization. Walking past an opening in a chain-link fence, she walked into the now-empty sandlot in this town. Looking in a small crevice, she smiled. _Still here,_ she thought. Pulling out a large wooden bowl, she set it down on the ground next to her. Someone who had been walking through saw the motion, and she smiled as he ran from the sandlot, telling everyone. She waited for a couple people to arrive, and pulled a stereo from the crevice. Putting a CD in the slot, she set the track. Then, as the music started, she began to sing.

"Look at me,

I will never pass for a perfect bride,

Or a perfect daughter.

Can it be?

I'm not meant to play this part,

Now I see,

If I were truly to be myself,

I would break my family's heart."

The crowd watched in awe as she sang, expressing the feelings of doubt and loneliness that she could not express elsewhere. These little trips to Twilight Town were her only escape. She threw herself into the music she loved, and, without knowing who she was, an audience once again experienced why she had earned the title of Tenebrous Melody.

The song ended.

A round of applause came from the people who had stopped for a moment of their busy lives to listen to a sad song from a wandering singer. Dropping a few Munny into the bowl, they left, and again, she set the track and started to sing…

* * *

Axel entered Xarika's room. "Xarika?" he called, but there was no answer. Could she have…?

But no. There was her robe on the floor, and the residue of a portal in the air. He smiled. _Singing again,_ he thought with a grin. _You gotta admit, the kid's got talent. Unlike Rocker-Boi._

Portaling back to his room, he took off his robe. Underneath were a black sleeveless shirt and a pair of black pants, complete with chains. Swapping his Organization gloves for a pair of black biker gloves, he portaled out to a back alley. Heading the same way that she had, he found her there in the sandlot, singing for munny.

_Heheh, _he thought, _I love vacation days._


	3. Birth of Fire and Song

AN: YAY! One of my favorite stories is coming back. As for reviews, I only have one, so this'll be easy.

Black Scepter: Yeah, Xarika mor than most. I get you about Roxas and Number XIII, though - the two just go together. Oh well, gives me something to do other than mope around.

If you're wondering about Xarika's theme, her's is probably Dreams of an Absolution. Her battle theme is I Am All of Me. I know they're both from STH, but hey, deal.

PLEASE review after reading. Even if you hate it. I like criticism.

----

Xarika finished her third song and looked up, only to see a familiar face. She glared at the red-head in he crowd as she inserted her track. 'What're you doing here?' she mouthed.

He only smirked.

The karaoke music started to play, and she let the soothing chords of sadness wash over her.

She took a deep breath, then began.

"_I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
__That don't bother me  
__I can take a few tears now and then and just let em out  
__I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while  
__Even though goin' on with you gone  
__Still upsets me  
__There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay  
__But that's not what gets me."_

The pain in her voice was evident, and something told the audience that she knew what the original artist felt. But then, as far as they knew, she was the original artist. Hers was music from far away. She hit the chorus hard.

"_What hurts the most,  
__Was bein' so close  
__And havin' so much to say  
__And watchin' you walk away  
__And never knowin'  
__What could've been  
__And not seein' that lovin' you  
__Is what I was tryin' to do."_

Tears fell from her darkened eyes and shadows filled her mind as she sang of a love lost. Her voice wove a tale, and the audience could almost see two shadows watching each other from afar. Her magic threatened to tear itself loose, and she barely heard herself sing the next verse, because she was watching him. Not in front of her, truly, but in her mind's eye. His bright smile, his brown hair, spiked back so that it looked faced by an eternal wind. His bright blue eyes, looking into her own. She could see her Self with him, too, a bright, happy girl with bright red hair. She was smiling, too, a smile that would never again appear on her face. That wasn't who she was anymore, she knew. That person was taken along with her heart. A stream of tears flowed down her face, but she was so lost in her memory that she didn't notice. The song ended, bringing her back to reality. She picked up her equipment, passed the bowl around for the last bit of munny, and stowed them safely back in the crack. She heard them whisper as the sandlot emptied, one more taken over by Seifer and his gang.

"Nice job, Xarika," said a voice from behind her. She turned to see Axel in his civilian clothes.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Day off. I can do what I want."

"What if Hayner's gang sees you? Even if no one else in Twilight Town recognizes you, _they_ will. And they won't forget what you did to Kairi."

"_Relax,_" he said. "Look, no one's going to see me if we avoid them. I was thinking we could watch the sunset."

"Hmm. Yeah,maybe weshould. It's beautiful, and we both have memories there. I'm sort of in the mood to reminisce."

He nodded. "Yeah. That was an interesting song, by the way. Never heard you do that one."

"It's called What Hurts the Most. Somehow, that felt… appropriate for today." She turned away. "Let's go," she aded abruptly, and headed for Sunset Station.

----

Sitting on the hill, they both looked out over the sunset. "This was one of the first worlds I visited," Xarika explained. "I watched the sunset from this very spot the night I left that first time."

Axel nodded. "Roxas and I became friends his first day in the Organization. I took him here to see the sunset when the eternal night of the World That Never Was got to him. He told me it didn't feel right to him, to be surrounded by darkness. That's when he told me he had no memories."

Someone cleared their throat behind them.

Xarika spun around, only to see a figure in an Organization cloak, with the hood pulled over his face. "Xarika," he said. "Good to see you again."

"And you," she said. "You're here for my report, I take it?"

The figure noddded. His hood shifted, revealing a strand of blond hair for a moment. "The others are interested to hear what you have to say."

"Here." She pulled a tight scroll from her pocket and handed it to him. "They may be interested, but they won't like it."

He nodded again. "I'll make sure this gets to them." He turned and created a dark portal. Stepping through, he vanished, and Xarika turned back to the sunset.

"It must be hard, having no memories," said Axel.

"I don't know," she replied. "You may not remember your friendships, but at least it doesn't hurt to have them taken from you."

He shrugged. "We can't feel pain the way you can, Xarika. Sometimes I think even humans can't feel pain the way you do."

It was her turn to shrug. "I wouldn't know." She turned to him. "What is your past like, Axel? What memories do you have?" She paused. "If you don't mind me asking."

He laughed. "Not at all."

There was a far-off look in his eyes as he began.

"It seems like such a long time ago. I think I was seventeen when I lost my heart. I was one of those kids that wears black and too much gel and dyes their hair all sots of weird colors. I wanted to be in a band, but I never quite managed to be good enough.

"I had a brother. His name was Jacen Endellion. I was Alex Endellion. Lots of people teased us about it, but he didn't care. 'It's unique,' he told me once. 'How many people can say that? How many people can look you in the eye and tell you their last name, or first name, is unlike any they have ever heard of?' He'd pat me on the back, then, and say, 'Be proud of our name.'

"He died when I was thirteen. Strange, huh? Supposedly an unlucky number. It always was for me. Yet now, I'm in an organization of thirteen members. Maybe it's my curse.

"Anyway, some guy killed him in a random shooting. He was acquitted, another charged and convicted of the crime, but I was there. I knew he was the one who had done it. I swore to get revenge.

"From that day forward, I dedicated myself to learning everything I could about people like him. I took law classes, and eventually gained a best friend. His name was Ken Kazeko."

He sighed. It was a sad sound, filled with loss.

"Eventually, I lost him too, the same day I gave myself up.

"He showed up graduation night. The man who killed my brother. I have no idea why he was there; back then, I didn't care. I had found a weapon a long time ago, one of the knives my dad collected. I pulled it out of my boot and lunged at him. Ken was there too, and he tried to stop me. I just kept advancing.

"That's when the shot fired. I knew, in that moment, that I had been searching for nearly five years for nothing. When I opened my eyes, Ken was lying on the ground, blood coming from his chest. I just sat there and held him, and looked up. The man was still holding the smoking gun. 

"He was smiling."

Axel looked up again, and this time, his eyes were filled with remembered pain and anger, acidic and deadly.

"I heard the darkness whisper to me. 'Give up yourself,' it said. 'We will give you revenge for your friend.' I tried not to listen, but it continued. 'We will give you power, the power to control whatever you desire. Maybe even the power to raise the dead.'

"That got to me. The power and darkness weighed on my soul, and, crying, I handed my heart to them. My last action was to kill the man who killed the only friends I ever had. I felt the fire dance for the first time that day."

As his story came to a close, he rested his head on his hands, and Xarika could feel the sorrow that he could not. Knowing that feeling that sorrow might give him peace, she placed her hand on his shoulder. Focusing, she felt what little heart she possessed contain the darkness that was all that was left of his.

Tears fell down their faces as she helped him relive that moment.

----

Alex charaged at the man who stood there, smirking, gloating.

"Murderer!" he shouted, moving to plunge the knife into his body, but the man pulled out a gun. It was too late. It was over.

Then, a dark shape shoved him aside. "KEN!" he screamed, the rain mingling with his tears. "NOOOOO!" The scream tore from his heart and soul like a knife. Ken fell, almost in his lap, dead.

The evil bastard was smiling.

A darkness swarmed around Alex.

_Accept our gift,_ it said, and a demonic glint came into his eyes. Fire mingled with darkness and he felt a rush of sick, savage glory. The fire shot from his hand, killing the man who murdered his brother.

And in that moment, the being known as Axel was Born.

----

Xarika gasped, those feelings of darkness overwhelming her, and she nearly collapsed. Axel looked at her with concern. "You all right?" he asked. "You know making others feel what you do is really hard on you."

"I'm fine," she said through gritted teeth.

"If you don't mind me asking," Axel said, carefully, "why did you lose your heart?"

She gave him a shocked look.

"They don't tell me everything," he said. "All I know is that you lived in the hub world, and that you didn't sell yourself."

She sighed. "It's... a long story," she said at last.

"As you probably know, I was a member of a band back then, along with several of my friends. Kevin, Aerin, Sore..." Their faces flashed through her memory, bringing pain. Her tears were her own, this time.

"We were the good guys, back then. Helped people. FOught evil. One night, a year ago today, Larxene came to our stage..."

----

(Xarika's PoV)

"Kaira!" Lea said, laughing. "That was an awesome performace!"

Her dyed-brown hair was spiked in layer upon layer, a lot like yours. Her eyes were like yours, too.

Suddenly, a WHOOSH sound was heard, and larxene stepped out of the portal. "Travellers," she sneered. "Give me the Princess or face death!" I realized who she thought I was.

"Oh yeah?" Lea shouted. "We'll show you a little about that!" Fire wrapped around her hands, inherited from the other side of life and death.

"Take me if you can!" I challenged.

"Gladly!" She ported behind Lea, and grabbed me, then threw me down. I felt her fist reach into my back, yet somehow, not physically, and she grabbed, and _ripped,_ and in a way I have no words for, I felt a tearing in my soul. I faded, the last feeling I had of Larxene's shock as she realized whose heart she had really taken, and then, I knew no more.

----

Her eyes were far away. "I died that day, Axel. No matter how hard they try, they will never bring me back." Looking up, she said in a chilling tone, "Birthdays aren't always happy occasions."


End file.
